Bartender please...

My life is no doubt a glorious comedy of errors. One night out at a social function I racked up a tremendous tab of {dare I say} 13 buckaroos....I was so pleasantly surprised when my date offered to grab my tab. ...but upon closer inspection he literally meant grab my tab and bring said tab to me as I was standing in a circle of my acquaintances to sign....horrors. How un-southern, un-couth, and generally tacky/cheap could he get. Sorry guys..not cool...not cool at all...nothing left to do but keep calm and carry on.....