Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Da plane.

Only in Orlando....I have had an eventful journey to the land of Mickey and Minnie starting in my hometown. I arrived at the airport an hour early only to get stripped down. "M'am can you remove your scarf, your sweater." I was quite frankly waiting on them to ask me to remove my leggings. The creepy old man behind me kept laughing as I removed layer upon layer....and turns out he had a questionable gold bag that the TSA officials thought was mine. I quickly informed them it was not...thankfully I made it through the scan, humbled by the fact I was standing in a tee and leggings. I sat down relieved only to find I was sitting next to chatty Cathy. A lovely lady was sitting next to me and began talking in a thick European accent. She began telling me about her visit of forty days to Alabama and the fact that she had plans to visit Romania where she was from....she then proceeded to tell me she lived "a few miles from Dracula..." but quickly informed me she was not, in fact, a vampire. Relieved that the plane would not go up in fangs I rapidly boarded. Waiting patiently in my aisle seat but who to my wondering eyes did appear but GOLD BAG man.....he plopped down between me and another lady.

The plane slowly took off but not before the man lit up his electric cigarette. Little did I know these things existed, or that they were legal on aero-planes. Curiosity killed the cat and I quizzed him on the mechanics of an e-cig. He explained that you filled it with tobacco and it vaporized. Ummm he was smoking 'baccer on the plane. No, I frankly did not want to smell it, but I did not want to anger anyone with nicotine withdrawals so I kept my mouth shut and perused my Vogue. The man started reading my articles and peering at the scantily clad models so I closed the mag and pulled out my ipod. No dice. He wanted to know what I was listening to and decided to share a little Bocephus and his geriatric headset with me. It was "tear-makin'" music, as he put it. He also asked if I liked gamblin' and instead of bore him with the finer points of my statistical knowledge I laughed and said I didn't care for it. Thankfully I was quickly in Atlanta....standing up I joined the conversation in front of me only to find the gentleman in front of me was headed to Orlando. Score! I was saved from the vamp and e-smoker.

Turns out he we had a mutual connection. Deep in discussion we boarded the tram to the next concourse, I lost him and was in dreamland when I saw him jump back on the tram...."M'am are you supposed to get off." "Yes!!" I said frantically. I had nearly missed my exit thanks to my lack of a sense of direction and ability to lose my head without it being attached. We sat and waited on the next plane.

Next stop Orlando...."1,2,3 GO!" were the words I heard coming from the couple next to me. Apparently they were the reigning Suduko champs and were having competitive Suduko matches. I buried my head in a good book to tune it out, and an hour plane ride later I touched down and managed to board the appropriate tram by solo and make it to baggage claim. Shortly after I hailed a cab...turns out the cabby had Alabama roots and proceeded to give me his family tree that included moon-shiners from Auburn....half an hour later I arrived safe and sound to my hotel and it's been uneventful since....kind of makes me miss the traveling fun.

Til' next time blog world.

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