Sunday, March 13, 2011

Running man.

The two words I thought I'd never see or hear. Track pants.....bloody track pants.

Certainly I have had blind dates my cousin set up and the other my high school principal found me. I should have learned by now to just say no (no how and no way)! Apparently I am a sucker for a bad date so I agreed to meet the friend's younger and completely fabulous brother. So to recap he was not fabulous and not that much of a gentleman. Note to self--never trust a family member. The first contact we had was an extremely poorly worded email that went something like this:
Yooooooo. So and sos brother here. I'm sure your wide open but I was going to
see if you wanted to get dinner this week.

I was utterly flabbergasted but responded five hours later confirming the fact I had a horribly busy schedule and would be unable to accommodate him that week. He apologized for the extremely rude and poorly worded email, but what else was he supposed to say? He calls me the next week and I agree to dinner. Mistake one.

Date 1:
Average Joe shows up slightly late, apologizes. We shake hands and proceed to his car....a silver Beemer. Right off the bat, I knew this was a bad sign. The date continued on to an upscale Mexican place (oxymoron and I don't like Mex that much). We waited for what seemed like ages and exchanged casualties with a guy he knew. Thankfully we got a table and were able to awkwardly talk our way through dinner. Nothing too bad and not horrible as far as first dates go. Overall a 5 out of 10, but this was definitely not the guy for me and he was a little a lot immature for 34.

Date 2:
Yes, I opted to subject myself to more blind date torture. I got a text from Average Joe asking if I wanted to grab lunch the following week. Thankfully or not so thankfully I had training and meetings all week that conveniently wiped out my lunch hour so I politely declined. He then asked me to dinner. I guessed it wouldn't go horribly, but oh how it did. I had not heard from him since Monday and I received a text Thursday at 2 pm that went something like this:
How's training? Great, how's your day? Just living the
dream. Pick you up at 7.
Really I didn't know anyone else that was living the dream other than Tom Cruise or Matthew Mcconaughey and his L-I-V-I-N. I thought about saying I've got other plans, but I acquiesced. Was he there at 7? No--7:30pm.....I swung open my door and had to lift my mouth off the floor and resist the urge to look like a deer in the headlights. Average Joe was wearing TRACK PANTS.....nylon track pants. I was completely astonished wondering if anyone even owned those anymore. Had he come from a pickup basketball game or did he actually think this was stylish? Either way it was disturbing. We got in his car and he muttered that he didn't really have a plan, which was completely disrespectful as far as second dates go. He tried to suggest basically the Shoney's of sushi but we ended up at P.F. Chang's (like that was better). The date was a train wreck....

I have yet to recover from the bad food, disrespect and more importantly bad pants. Any of these things individually would have been problem, but the pants took the cake. For fear date three holds a Member's Only jacket I am walking away. Other girl's get engaged, get married and get flowers; I get track pants.

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